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April and May 2009 issue

Recession-Proof your Home with Duct Tape
Tough economic times? Not with duct tape by your side. If you don't have a whole mess of it handy, now's the time to stock up. With mortgage money at a pultry 4.5%, we'd advise remortgaging your house, taking out about $10K more than you need and investing it in duct tape futures. Talk about your ultimate recession-proof commodity! Here's a short list of stuff you can do to recession-proof your family:

1) Don't Buy New when Duct Tape Will Do. Never throw away and replace broken household items! Get out your duct tape and repair it. If you can't fix it with duct tape, you can probably get along without it until this economic debacle is over.

2) Make Flat Packs. Collect all of your credit cards and wrap each with three yards of duct tape. This creates a handy little "flat pack" of duct tape that fits easily into your pocket or purse. (It also renders your credit card absolutely useless - you'll save at lease a couple grand a month.)

3) Duct Tape Your Wallet Shut. You can't impulse spend if you can't easily pull out your cash or bank card.

4) Duct Tape Your Mailbox Shut. Stop the delivery of bills. When they call to tell you that they are turning off your electricity because of non-payment of bills - just tell them that you haven't been receiving any bills.

5) Duct Tape Your Teenager into their Room. Not only will this help prevent your kid from hanging out at the mall (wasting time and money) it will prevent them from hanging out with the wrong crowd. Fill their room with books and they may, out of boredom, start reading and emerge a lot smarter than they were when they went in. (Note: Depending on how long you keep them there, this may also get you on the evening news!)

For other hints about dealing with the current state of the economy, please take a few minutes to review our Duct Tape Economic Stimulus Package on a Roll page. Thanks.

It's Prom Contest Time Again!
(on the right - the 2008 Grand prize winners)
Duck brand duct tape has once again launched their Stuck at Prom Contest! This is the Ninth Annual Contest! If you are of High School Prom age, you can put your duct taping and fashion design skills to use, impress your friends, be the talk of the town, get on the news, and possibly win a College Scholarship! The contest ends June 8th. Online voting happens between June 19th and July 2nd. Winners will be announced July 9th. Want more info? CLICK TO: - browse through our massive collection of prom gowns and tuxes here.

Fizzled for lack of entries?
Last issue we relaunched the once popular Photo Contest page - but in two months got only two entires - one from the guy that insisted we relaunch it - and one other (which wasn't bad, but we've seen more creative attempts). So, we're heading you over to the Caption Contest page one more time to see if anyone wants to win fabulous prizes for their witty photo caption. If we don't get more entries, we're going to send this contest the route of the GM C.E.O. (except without any gold-plated severance package).

The Duct Tape Stores are moving...
We moved our stores to Octane Street. In an effort to update our stores and get them to a place where more people can find them, we moved them to Octane Street. Here you can still purchase our books (in the bookstore) and Duct Tape apparel (in the Humor Apparel Store). There's also a storefront for the Duct Tape Guys. Check it out and click around Octane Street - you just might discover some other humorous creations from Tim and company while you are there.

Dale's Discoveries
(A monthly feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site

I finally got onto Facebook. I had always thought that it elevated the concept of having no life to an art form. Then I started to see its potential. I was able to get in touch with friends I hadn't talked to in 25 years - and find out that they had pancakes for breakfast.

Can you get in trouble for stealing a book of Free Verse?

I went into one of those discount stores the other day - you know the kind with the off brands. I bought some candy that was supposed to be like Good 'n Plenty but it was called Adequate 'n Just Enough.

If something is neither here nor there, where the heck is it?

My niece, Hope, was taking a science test and they asked what the speed of light was in a vacuum. She said, "There is no light inside the vacuum, it is in the front."

Are the Meow Mix commercials closed captioned for deaf cats?

Dale's Website Discoveries

I am not sure how much you want to trust someone who just discovered Facebook the other day, but I think this is a site that you might really enjoy. It is based on digital harmonics and is very scientific but it also makes some interesting sound patterns and is fun to watch. Light some candles and you can spend hours listening to it and looking at it. You might also learn something about harmonics if you care to. Thanks to Roy G..

Jim and Tim's Cool Website Finds

Powertape (the European cousin of Duck® brand tape) has a couple of cool videos posted:

Here's a guy making a really complex duct tape wallet (with powertape) click here
If you want to make a wallet without so many steps, check out our quick version.

One might assume that this one is a video of Jim... click here (it's not Jim - but it does kind of look like him)

Meet us at The Duct Tape Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:

School Budget Helper
(below) We found these creative uses of duct tape in the Women's locker room of the Roseville, MN High School (don't ask what we were doing in the women's locker room).

Alex's Throne (above right) I just wanted to share my latest project, duct tape high chair, for the baby who rocks. Hope y'all like it. Thanks, Meg C., Bryan, TX We think Alex will grow up to be a King or President or a Duct Tape Guy or something with this throne!

Mascot Clothing
Well, it's kind of hard to find clothing that fits our class mascot, Scooter the Otter, because of his abnormal measurements and the fact that rigor mortis does not allow him to move any limbs. Therefore, we use the only other plausible source for his outfits- duct tape. We dress him up for many occasions, such as Christmas and the school dance, and I'm pretty sure the archer and knight outfits were just random. My name is Tim (not kidding) U., and my friend who makes most of the outfits is Matt L. If this does make it on the website, please be sure to mention Matt, as it is his otter, and I don't want to take all the glory. We are in the class of 2010 at Caldwell Academy, which is in Greensboro, NC. What better use for duct tape than to save our class mascot's dignity? Consider yourself mentioned, Matt. Nice work!

Duct Tape Decorative Wallets
I just wanted to share some of my wallets with you. I am a broke fulltime student and fulltime employee so i do this on the side to help pay for school. Plus its fun. hope you like them.
Duck tape Rocks! Emilia D., Omaha, NE

See our other wallets in the Duct Tape Fashion Accessories pages.

Trivial Pursuit:

Pepper these little facts into your daily conversations and people will be amazed at your grasp of absolutely useless information:

The sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter in the English language.

111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321

The average human eats 8 spiders in their lifetime at night.

"I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.

A rhinoceros horn is made of compacted hair.

The shortest war in history was between Zanzibar and England in 1896. Zanzibar surrendered after 38 minutes.

A polar bear's skin is black. Its fur is not white, but actually clear.

Donald Duck comics were banned in Finland because he doesn't wear pants.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

Shakespeare invented the word "assassination" and "bump."

If you keep a Goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

The name of all the continents end with the same letter that they start with.

The word "lethologica" describes the state of not being able to remember the word you want.

TYPEWRITER, is the longest word that can be made using the letters on only one row of the keyboard.

If the population of China walked past you in single file, the line would never end because of the rate of reproduction

The word racecar and kayak are the same whether they are read left to right or right to left.

A snail can sleep for 3 years.

China has more English speakers than the United States.

The electric chair was invented by a dentist.

Did you know you share your birthday with at least 9 other million people in the world.

The longest word in the English language is 1909 letters long and it refers to a distinct part of DNA.

Cats have over one hundred vocal sounds, dogs only have about ten.

Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing.

Feb 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

Cat's urine glows under a black light.

Leonardo Da Vinci invented the scissors.

Nutmeg is extremely poisonous if injected intravenously.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee. If you fart consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced to create the energy of an atomic bomb.

The human heart creates enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.

On average, people fear spiders more than they do death.

The strongest muscle in the body is the TONGUE.

It's impossible to sneeze with your eyes open.

A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out.

The ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

Polar bears are left-handed.

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds, that makes the catfish rank #1 for animal having the most taste buds.

A cockroach will live nine days without its head, before it starves to death.

Butterflies taste with their feet. Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain.

Starfish haven't got brains.

Rubber bands last longer when refrigerated.

Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite.

The average secretary's left hand does 56% of the typing.

A shark is the only fish that can blink with both eyes.

There are more chickens than people in the world.

Two-thirds of the world's eggplant is grown in New Jersey.

The longest one-syllable word in the English language is

No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver or purple.

"Dreamt" is the only English word that ends in the letters "mt".

Almonds are members of the peach family.

There are only four words in the English language which end in "- dous": tremendous, horrendous, stupendous, and hazardous.

A cat has 32 muscles in each ear.

An ostrich's eye is bigger than it's brain.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

In most advertisements, including newspapers, the time
displayed on a watch is 10:10.

A dragonfly has a lifespan of 24 hours.

A goldfish has a memory span of three seconds.

The giant squid has the largest eyes in the world.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

The name for Oz in the "Wizard of Oz" was thought up when the creator, Frank Baum, looked at his filing cabinet and saw A-N and O-Z, hence "Oz."

The microwave was invented after a researcher walked by a radar tube and a chocolate bar melted in his pocket.

The average person falls asleep in seven minutes.

There are 336 dimples on a regulation golf ball.

Nab all the cool, original Duct Tape Pro™ Duct Tape Apparel you want at the Pro Shop
The Duct Tape Pro Shop is the only place in the universe to get Genuine Duct Tape Guys Originals. There are many rip-offs available - some at major department stores, but they're illegal copyright infringements. Please don't buy them. Anything that you see on our site are our original designs and slogans.

And remember, when it comes time to buy our BOOKS - including the WD-40 Book and the entire Duct Tape genre for your dad, grandpa... friends and relatives (or yourself) there's no better place than the Pro Shop - that's because we autograph everything that we ship. And, we've got GREAT deals that you won't find anywhere else - in the world! So stop by the Duct Tape Pro Shop and see what's in store for you! Thanks for your patronage! - The Duct Tape Guys

Well, that’s it for now. Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

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