The “BADGE of HONOR” If you have sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.

Monday, April 8th is International
Feng Shui Day!
What is Feng Shui you ask? That's just what we asked when our friend Ray Beckstrom became a Feng Shui consultant and started rearranging our furniture - which lead to a lot of shouting, eye-rolling, and eventually... Our Fifth Book!

Back in 1994 when we wrote "The Duct Tape Book" we didn't put "Book One" on it because we figured, "Well, that will be that." But NO! We started getting letters from people all over North America (and Guam, yes, we actually got one letter from Quam) people telling us of their uses and love for duct tape. So we kept writing books and Page-A-Day Calendars. And, they kept selling. To date we have sold over one million copies of our duct tape books!

This month we are releasing our fifth book about Duct Tape, "Duct Shui". Actually this book is a hybrid duct tape book that combines duct tape hints with the one and only parody of the extremely trendy ancient Chinese philosophy of Feng Shui. And, true to Duct Tape Guy form, the book is "breathtakingly stupid" and "downright hilarious."

Who will like this book? Anyone who likes duct tape and/or humor. Anyone who's into Feng Shui, Anyone who has never heard of Feng Shui but would like to know what all the fuss is about. Anyone who can't stand Feng Shui... And anyone who wants some good, clean fun.

You can get your autographed copy today from the Duct Tape Pro Shop (with a complimentary Duct Tape Pro Bumper Sticker), or from your local bookstore.

Click here to become acquainted with our new book:
www.ductshui.com
(Can you believe that nobody had that URL? Amazing!)
Purchase DUCT SHUI from the Duct Tape Pro Shop and get an autographed copy and a

Random thoughts about women and men…

A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he doesn't. A man marries a woman expecting that she won't change, and she does.

A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that constitutes the beginning of a new argument.

I have no idea who originated the control panel on the left, but we think it pretty much speaks for itself and to the truth of the Man/Woman thing.
(You can see other stuff like this that we cull from around the WWWeb at Parodyville.com's As Seen on the Web. Warning: some of the stuff strays over into the "PG" area that The Duct Tape Guys don't like to cross with DuctTapeGuys.com.)

A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs. A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she doesn't need.

A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a wife. A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend. A successful woman is one who can find such a man.


QUOTE O’ the ISSUE: "Old aunts used to come up to me at weddings, poking me in the ribs and cackling, telling me, "You're next." They stopped after I started doing the same thing to them at funerals. "
- Author Unknown

Shopping Warning: MOTHER’S DAY: MAY 12th, FATHER’S DAY: JUNE 16th.
Here is your chance to save bigtime on all SIX of our Books and our video!
in this newsletter-only offer, you can get our first three Duct Tape Books, our WD-40 Book, The Jumbo Duct Tape Book, and Duct Shui (a combined retail value of $56.75) for just $42.00! A great gift for your Duct Tape and WD-40 loving mom or dad for their special day(s) this spring. Or, heck, just get it for yourself. Everything (except the video) will be autographed to the person of your choice. And, both the Jumbo Duct Tape Book and Video have coupons for FREE flat packs of Duck® brand Tape - making this even a better deal. To get the special offer click here and you will be ordering securely online via CCNOW.


You can always get stuff from the Duct Tape Guys FREE. Postcards, bumper stickers, computer monitor desktops, even books! Check out our FREE STUFF area by clicking on the icon on the left.
Note: Some of you have sent requests without a self-addressed STAMPED envelope (SASE). Sorry, but these requests are NOT filled by our fulfillment person. So please remember to include a SASE!

Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories. Just like these people did:

Cubicle Helper
We are very space constrained at out office and last year we had to give up our Dilbert-like cubicles and move into even smaller cubicles. That was bad enough, but the smaller cubicles also come with lower walls, only 3 feet high instead of the 4 feet of wall height than the larger cubicles had. As a result we no longer even had an *illusion* of privacy.

Well, enter duct tape to the rescue! I went to my local Home Depot and bought a bunch of styrofoam "boards" and with my duct tape taped these boards on top of the existing cubicle walls, adding an extra foot of height and giving back some privacy. As a bonus you can even use push pins on the styrofoam to tape up important papers. And with the duct tape holding it in place the walls are almost as sturdy as the original walls of our larger cubicles were.

My move was so popular that most of the people in department followed suit and borrowed my duct tape to add stytofoam walls of their own.

Admittedly it may not look the most professional but, heck, if the company is not going to provide us with decently private working conditions on their own then they have to put up with what we come up with. One co-worker got especially creative and duct-taped a large picture in a frame to the top of her cubicle wall. Somewhat nicer looking than the styrofoam most of us have. --- Debbie Cusick


Put your memory and duct tape sleuthing to work at our Duct Tape at the Movies page. Or, just be amazed at how many movies feature duct tape!
PHOTO OF THE MONTH
(Go to the Duct Tape Guys' Scrapbook to see us schmoozing with other celebrities (This is Mr. Clean - duh).

Real Life Flight Announcements:
On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
Speaking of photos… Our photo caption contest photo is waiting for your creative caption. Click here to try your luck and skill at writing a caption for this month's photo (deadline is April 16th).

RANDOM WINNER: The random winner of a duct tape book in this issue is/was: Zachary Marimon. Congratulations! Send us your mailing address and we will send you an autographed Duct Tape Book.

Well, that’s it for this issue of “Duct Tape on a Roll” Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/onaroll so they can SUBSCRIBE.

If you want OFF of our email list at any time, that’s fine with us, we don’t want to bother anyone with stuff they don't want. Just click here: REMOVE

May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Catch us in action in your area! Check out our appearance calendar!

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02