The "BADGE of HONOR" If you've sent us something that we have used on our site, grab the graphic above and post it on your site and in your emails.
Submissions Please
If you have a joke or story that you would like to submit for inclusion in our next newsletter, email it to us. Just make sure it's suitable for all ages (we don't publish anything off-color). Thanks again!
Go Directly to:
Our web site is getting massive. So we little always include this handy little pull-down menu in our newsletter and on our main page. Go discover the world's most massive online tribute to duct tape:

Quotes of the Month:
Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
- Albert Einstein

Energy and persistence conquer all things.
- Benjamin Franklin

Life is either a daring adventure or nothing.
- Helen Keller

Soapbox presents Tim's personal opinions about serious issues that he feels are of importance.
It has been moved to a different page so those who would rather not have a dose of serious matters can avoid it. If you're concerned with the state of our nation, the future we are giving our kids, issues of peace, justice and faith/values in action, and would like to be exposed to more ideas than those presented by our corporate media, click here. If you don't want to, that's okay. Tape on!

Impeach Bush?
No matter what you think of the guy - you should know that there's a movement afoot to remove him from his post. Click here to catch up on what's going on around our country.

Trivia:
President Gerald Ford used to have cottage cheese with steak sauce on it for lunch aboard Air Force One. He also liked to have Chocolate Angel Food Cake for dessert.
Cookin' with Duct Tape:

We all scream for Ice Cream... Shannon Jackson Arnold not only screams about it - she's written a book about it. And even covers the use of duct tape in the making homemade icecream. Check out her secret methods at our Cookin' with Duct Tape pages. click here for the ice cream ideas and other recipies from the Duct Tape Guys.

Take advantage of our overstock
We've had several orders lately from people taking advantage of our Garage Sale section of the Duct Tape Pro Shop. Some for gifts, but several for business incentives, promotional items, and thank you gifts. If you think about it, it makes good economic sense. For instance, if you are a Realtor: Add an Ultimate Duct Tape Book to a roll of duct tape and you have the perfect little "survival kit" for new homeowners. With prices at less than 50% of retail, you can give a gift that gives big for just a little bit of cash. Check out what's in the Garage today and get your marketing and public relations wheels turning!

Get a Bumper Sticker FREE! Send us a photo of you holding up a roll of duct tape and one of our books, our video, or wearing one of our shirts in front of a landmark (in your community, or some famous landmark anywhere in the world) and we will send you a Duct Tape Pro bumper sticker. Remember to include your mailing address with your digital photo.

OR If you don't have a digital camera or just want a bumper sticker, you can send $1.00 and get one delivered to your U.S. mailing address. Just send $1 with a self-addressed, stamped (39¢) #10 (business-sized) envelope to: Duct Tape Guys Bumper Sticker c/o 732 Memorial Drive, Suite 200, Sturgeon Bay, WI 54235
May 2006

Cool Stuff!
The fictional beverage above was created by 15-year-old design prodigy and Duct Tape Diva, Karen Kavett. We love it when we see young people go wild with creativity (or any age person, for that matter)! And duct tape is a wonderful medium for creativity, whether it's art, fashion, or just good old humor. We think the whole secret is that there are no instructions with duct tape - therefore, your creativity is not limited.

Karen blew us away with her duct tape purses (sample on the right) - we've posted a whole page of them in our Duct Tape Fashion Accessories area. Check them out! Click here.

Did you fall off of our list?
We've switched our e-mail listserve software If you were a subscriber to our email list in the past, you would have gotten a verification email making sure you want to opt-in to our new list. Over 700 of you didn't respond to this and thereby fell off of the list. If you want to keep getting our newsletter announcements and special notices that we send out (not more than twice a month), Click here - and resubscribe. Then MAKE SURE you respond to the verification email that comes your way after you subscribe to make sure your email is activated in the system. Remember, we never sell or share our list with anyone and you can easily unsubscribe at any time. - Jim and Tim

Music to duct tape by:
We've added a new little section to the newsletter that will feature music that we dig for one reason or another. You can also check out our duct tape-specific music offerings by clicking to our Music area. This month's featured artist is GREG PAGEL - Greg is a great keyboard artist who plays in the jazz quartet that Tim's daughter (Jim's niece) sings with (in the Fox River Valley, WI area). Greg's solo album, titled, "Plastic Music Machine" is a wonderfully creative and undeniably wacky offering extolling the virtues of electronic keyboards. Buckle your seatbelt, open up the lid on your brain and enjoy, "Plastic Music Machine". Sample tracks available at CDBaby.com - click here for Greg's page.

Duct Tape Dad of the Year Contest!
This year, the Duct Tape Dad of the Year Contest at the Avon (Ohio) Duct Tape Heritage Festival has been opened up to Dads across the United States! Please click here to get all the rules and information. The contest starts on March 13, 2006 and ends on May 12, 2006. The winner and their dad will win a trip to Avon, Ohio to visit this year’s Duct Tape Festival. The winning dad will also win a spot in the Parade on the Duck® brand duct tape float.

Yet another Stuck at Prom reminder
You could be well on your way to winning a $3,000 scholarship.  All you have to do is make a prom outfit out of Duck Tape, enter the contest, and win!  Concerned you may not be able to stick with it?  Don’t worry, Duck Tape has you covered!

Click here for complete information about this year's Stuck at Prom contest!
And then, click to our Prom Viewer to get inspiration from hundreds of our favorites from the five previous years of the contest.

Dale's Discoveries
(A monthly feature that will be showcasing weird stuff that our friend Dale comes up with.) Visit Dale's TallToysTroupe site

A friend of mine used to provide computers to corporations. The way he would tell if he was talking to engineers or management was to tell them that his computers were so fast that they could perform an infinite loop in four minutes. If they laughed, they were engineers. If they were impressed, they were management.

Why is it that, when you need them, the only empty electrical outlets are always in the exact geographic center of the back of the biggest piece of furniture in the room?

Dale's Website Discovery of the Month
cooltools/
One of the things that I enjoyed more than most back in the 70s (at least the one that I will mention here) was spending hours looking thru the Whole Earth Catalog. Well, I recently found a website that almost exactly recreates that wonderful experience. One main difference though is that now it is possible to click over to detailed websites about each of the items recommended. With the obvious exception of the site you are looking at now, this is definitely one of my new favorite sites. Be prepared to spend hours, or even days here.
Meet us at The Diner. We’ve had some great stories over the counter at the Duct Tape Diner recently. If you haven’t yet read the Diner contributions, stop by! This is where we invite our visitors to share their own duct tape stories.

Just like these people did:

Taping for a Good Cause I have done two 60-mile walks for Breast Cancer and am in training for my third. I use the tape to keep me from getting blisters. I put a strip of duct tape around the bottom of my foot, from the top of my big toe to the top of my pinkie toe. During all the training walks the tape kept me from getting any blisters. During the first walk I only got blisters after 45 miles. I think I pulled the tape too tight and made my toes rub together. The second walk I got them sooner, but I didn't have NEAR the problems other walkers were having. I will definitely be using duct tape throughout this training and walk!! - Kimber Streeter

Post Surgery Running Bra I am an avid runner and I have run daily for the past 15 years since I quit smoking. Not only do I enjoy the physical benefits of running to stay in shape, but I also enjoy the psychological benefits of mood elevation and stress relief. Running was never more critical for me than when I was diagnosed with breast cancer this past year. Fortunately, I had a lumpectomy but after my surgery I remained very stressed because I couldn't run until my surgical wounds healed. There were no post-surgical running bras. Then I remembered the duct tape that I had recently purchased to temporarily hold the side mirror onto the door of my daughter's car until repaired. Could it work? With a little duct tape I tailor-made a support over the top of my running bra each day until I healed. And because I had already purchased the see clear duct tape it was also very discreet. Thanks to duct tape I missed only two days of running after my surgery and I was able to participate in The Susan G. Koman 5K Race for The Cure in Louisville, Ky. - Denise Mott

Duct Tape Idle Screw Fix Last year a good friend bought me your calendar for a Christmas present. Little did I know how helpfull it would be. The same friend had a turn of bad luck with a car accident a very long way from home we had to trailer the car back but not without duct taping the trailer light back together and the wireing harness back together after being pulled over by one of New Hampshire's finest. It also came in handy to bind the chains together in sub zero weather.....at night......on a mountain....in the wind. But wait we still aren't to the end yet she got another friends car and the ignition switch had broken (sorry no fix for that) when she received it back from the dealer it would constantly stall so I popped the hood and tried to fix it but the idle screw could not be adjusted, I told her sorry and was about to send her on her way when SHE suggested - yep you guessed it - good ole duct tape. Now it purrs like a kitten and the gun metal grey matches the aluminum nicely. (see photo on left). - Mark

Duct Tape Wiper Blades I was running low on cash, snow was coming, so i did this quick fix on my wiper blades to get me through driving in the snow! they worked great on the snow, but then it rained later and they sucked with the liquid! had to finally get new ones. - Leslie L. Bennett

Fred's Hood Latch When your hood latch goes due to a little "lapse of depth perception" - thank goodness there's duct tape!

Rock and Roll Tape On Friday March 10, 2006 as I was watching a concert by Rhonda Vincent & The Rage at the Douglass Theater in Macon, Georgia, and Duct Tape became part of the show. During the first song Rhonda's microphone went out. She moved over to the next microphone and finished the song. The band moved the non working microphone from the center of the stage to the far right of the stage. After the second song while Rhonda was speaking to the audience, Josh Williams (guitar player) started working on the microphone. While he was fixing the microphone, Hunter Berry (fiddle player) ask the audience " Does any one have some duct tape?". Well that drew a large laughter from everyone. I sure wish I had taken my duct tape to the concert. That would have been "A Duct Tape Moment". - Billy

Got a kid who loves duct tape?
Peace, Love and Duct Tape A reprise of that 1960's/70's graphic with a nod to duct tape.. We have a TON of others to choose from. Just click to the Duct Tape Pro Shop to pick one up today. They come in a variety of shirt styles - even a nice cozy sweatshirt for fall and winter wearing!

Got an idea for a shirt? Look through our apparel offerings. If you don't see your idea, and we haven't used it in the past, we just might use it. If we produce it, we will send you a free shirt. (email your idea to tim@ducttapeguys.com - put "shirt idea" in the subject line)
Weirdest Use Ever? Often when doing radio interviews, we're asked, "what's the weirdest duct tape use we've ever seen?" Well, this has to be in the top ten - duct taping a fetal pig back together after being dissected in biology class. The duct taper of the pig named him, "Frankenswine."

Here's a nice use of flash animation:.
Mr. Otto - Twisted Olympics by Bruno Bozzetto.
(have your sound on) - enjoy! click here
(pg-rated cartoon - yes, decapitations happen - but in a humorous, simple line drawing sort of way - a bit more graphic than roadrunner cartoons, but just plain silly entertainment)
More at www.bozzetto.com
The Bulwer-Lytton Contest
This year's 10 winners of the Bulwer-Lytton contest, aka "Dark and Stormy Night Contest" (run by the English Dept. of San Jose State University), wherein one writes only the first line of a bad novel:

10) "As a scientist, Throckmorton knew that if he were ever to break wind in the echo chamber, he would never hear the end of it.

9) "Just beyond the Narrows, the river widens."

8) "With a curvaceous figure that Venus would have envied, a tanned, unblemished oval face framed with lustrous thick brown hair, deep azure-blue eyes fringed with long black lashes, perfect teeth that vied for competition, and a small straight nose, Marilee had a beauty that defied description."

7) "Andre, a simple peasant, had only one thing on his mind as he crept along the East wall: 'Andre creep... Andre creep... Andre creep.'"

6) "Stanislaus Smedley, a man always on the cutting edge of narcissism, was about to give his body and soul to a back alley sex-change surgeon to become the woman he loved."

5) "Although Sarah had an abnormal fear of mice, it did not keep her from eeking out a living at a local pet store."

4) "Stanley looked quite bored and somewhat detached, but then penguins often do."

3) "Like an over-ripe beefsteak tomato rimmed with cottage cheese, the corpulent remains of Santa Claus lay dead on the hotel floor."

2) "Mike Hardware was the kind of private eye who didn't know the meaning of the word 'fear'; a man who could laugh in the face of danger and spit in the eye of death -- in short, a moron with suicidal tendencies."

AND...

1) "The sun oozed over the horizon, shoved aside darkness, crept along the greensward, and, with sickly fingers, pushed through the castle window,
revealing the pillaged princess, hand at throat, crown asunder, gaping in
frenzied horror at the sated, sodden amphibian lying beside her, disbelieving
the magnitude of the frog's deception, screaming madly, 'You lied!"

from: http://www.bulwer-lytton.com/

Click here to listen to the Duct Tape Guys early radio bits, "Duct Tape Talk".
If you spot duct tape - snap a photo and send it to us. We'll add it to our Duct Tape Sightings pages. Make sure you tell us where the shot was taken!
Well, that’s it for this issue of "Duct Tape on a Roll" Remember that you can share this FREE duct tape and humor newsletter with your friends. Just send them this address: http://www.ducttapeguys.com/list so they can SUBSCRIBE to our email notification list.

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May the Tape be with you!
- Jim and Tim - The Duct Tape Guys

Click here for archived On a Roll Newsletters: 1/02, 2/02, 3/02, 03/19/02, 4/02, 5/02, 6/02, 7/02, 08/02, 09/02. 10/02, 11/02, 12/02, 01/03, 02/03, 03/03, 4/03, 05/03. 06/03 07/03 8/03 9/03 10/03 11/03, 12/03, 1/04, 2/04, 3/04, 4/04, 5/04, 6/04, 7/04, 8/04, 9/04, 10/04, election issue, 11/04, 12/04, 01/05, 2/05, 3/05, 4/05, 5/05, 06/05, 7/05, 08/05, 09/05, 10/05, 11/05, 12/05, 01/06, 2/06, 3/06, 4/06,
Tim (left), Jim (other left).