Glad you made tracks to the Doggy Bag Web Site.

You are about to be introduced to the most innovative way to turn man's best friend into a faithful servant even after their death. And remember, it’s available only from
Bob Schuck’s Cheese and Taxidermy Shoppe.

Here’s how Bob Schuck’s does it. When your dog passes away, pack the dog in dry ice and ship in the carton provided via overnight service (UPS or Fed Ex) to our facilities in Bowerville. We will immediately gut your dog and mount it’s hide on a lightweight, durable fiberglas frame. Your dog’s eyes will be color matched exactly through our patented Identi-Iris™ material. Self-dispensing oozing eye matter pouches will be added for no extra charge to guarantee a lifelike appearance. We are adding to our line daily as new breeds enter our facilities. Below are just some of the options available for your dog. Full payment must be made in cash with the delivery of your dog.
Your Doggy Bag will ship in as few as eight weeks.
Item # Description Size of Dog Cost
5001 PoochPurse (with a feminine flare and leather shoulder strap) medium to small breeds $1500
5005 PoochPack (great for personal items and cell phone) small to medium breeds $1500 to $2750
5006 FannyPoochPak small breeds $1000
5007 BowserBillfold (head pokes out of your pocket) miniature $650
5008 Bowser Brief
(will add hide if necessary_
small to medium $2995.95
5009 BowserBrief Deluxe
(includes beverage cooler)
small to medium $3550
5010 RuffRoller (roll-on luggage, fits most overhead bins) large breeds preferred $4000+ (quote)
317 Two lb.wheel aged Gouda n/a $7.95
320 Two lb.wheel fresh Colby n/a $5.95
New DoogyBag styles are being added monthly! Check back often. We take requests!
FREE 1 pound Wheel of Cheese with purchase!

Pooch not dead yet?
Prepay the construction of your DoggyBag today and Bob will
send you a FREE Cat-a-Pelt
Headband/Ear Warmer.

Imagine the many business and social possibilities that Doggy Bags™ will open up for you.
What a great conversation starter. People can admire your dog without fear of getting bit, the embarrassment of being sniffed or your leg violated.

When you are in Bowerville, stop in and visit our gallery.
E-Mail your complaints about this parody to: DUH@idiot.com

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